Adult Swim(:

"Satan is frenchfries. The meatball's gonna kill the Satan frenchfries."

"Hitler's wearing 3-D glasses!!"

" I'm all for body hair on men, but when they just have really hairy patchy upper arms that needs to be addressed."

"Look at that meatball's afro!"

**black person comes on screen** " Look! It's Garrett!"

" I think I need a cocktail. I think that will make this funnier."

" Fabio's hair can play the banjo? Oh, wait. That's a ukelele! That makes it way better."

More Dope.

Mom: "You aren't smoking dope are you? Well, you're too cranky to be smoking dope. If you smoked dope you'd be in a much better mood. We'd all be in a better mood if we smoked more dope. Don't though. "

Purple Mushrooms.

So, My mother, my younger brother, and I spent the evening watching a bad lifetime movie and laughing. Then, my mother and my brother invented this game of trying to finish everything they say with "iblet," and interjecting the word "giblet" into sentences at random.

THEN, My mom began tickling me with her toes, while giggling and saying " Purple Mushrooms," and " Purple Mushrrom Soup." That's right, my completely sober, completely 'normal' mother decided to randomly start saying purple mushrooms for no apparent reason. I love her.

Middle Toe.

Mom: (With foot in the air) " I'm middle toe-ing you. Well, just ignore the other toes, because this is the only one that's really really toe-ing you. And look at my toe; It just looks like a little McNugget."

*~*~*~*

( 5min. earlier)

Boy on TV: " You are special."
Me: " Bullshit."
Mom: " Julie!"
Me: " Well! Any boy who calls a girl special is feeding her bullshit."
Mom: " I'm special. Rainbows shoot out of my bum."
Me: " WHAT!?"

Dope.

So, My mother always thinks I'm smoking dope. [I DON'T SMOKE ANYTHING.] Think I'm exadgerating?

Me: Mom, Can I stay after for select choir?
Mom: Yep. As long as you aren't actually staying to smoke dope.
Me: Mom. Mrs. Redmond wouldn't let us smoke anything.
Mom: You'd be surprised. It's pretty fun.

~*~*~*~*~

Me: Hey, Can I have one of those Doritio's?
Mom: Why you got the munchies? You smokin' dope?


... So, Yes. My mother ALWAYS thinks EVERYTHING I do is based on the fact that I MUST be smoking "dope."


(p.s. There's only one person who will actually get this but, By the way, DOPE BENCH. ;D)